Separation – Love and Loss

Tujhe cheen loon ya chhod doon?
Tujhe maang loon ya mod doon?
Iss lamhe kya kar jaaun,
Iss lamhe kya kar doon jo mujhe chain mile aaram mile?
Aur ho aur ho saans ka shor ho aanch ki ore badhe…

Separation – Love and Loss

You’d wonder, what new can I write about a topic done to death?  Love eventually leads to separation and I’m sure all of us have loved and lost your love at least once in your existing lifetime! You disapprove? So love is this stereotypic feeling which is supposed to lead us to ‘happily ever after’. But how many times does this happen willingly. We love someone who we actually want to spend our entire lives with. But after a certain how much love is really left? Isn’t it just kind of getting used to that person. Like you have settled for something and now you have no choice but to live with it. Honestly that is what it is. I am in a relationship from 6 years and know better.

The other day I was watching ‘Rockstar’ and wondering why people did not like the movie! I mean it is a simple story about the journey of ‘Jordan’, a person who screws up by loving someone he knows will never get in life and similar was ‘Kabhie alvida na kehna’. I mean let’s get real! Is it because we think it is morally wrong or is it just that infidelity is ethically a shame across all ‘civilizations’? That is how our minds are trained isn’t it?

Most of these ‘extra marital’ or whatever you want to call them, relationships are ones which never see sunrise. An impossible relationship is one of the many special gifts that we all possess. Maybe the other person is already in a relationship or he/she doesn’t love you or whatever. And this applies to me too. Yes I have loved and obviously lost, twice …or maybe more times.

So how different is it when relationship is not acceptable or ‘unethical’ based on what society says? How far do limitations go and how far should you go? The limits are for you to decide. Because when you love someone there is no logic! Nothing matters not age no amount of time and no barriers. Love ascribes value beyond reason, far beyond the intrinsic worth of its object. We love someone not for what he or she is but for what we are with that person. Love! It’s just this overwhelming feeling that takes control. And this feeling goes way beyond ethics!

People feel how can someone cheat his or her, girlfriend or boyfriend? And doesn’t guilt play an important part? Well it does, guilt goes way deep down. But there is a simple explanation if your love is so perfect, why this uneasiness, why this want of a shoulder of a friend a confidant and a well-wisher. Relationships fail and so do people trying to make them work. The truth is that if you are with a person with whom, you are not who you are then that a thumbs down for you!

We all have relationships good ones, great ones, not so good ones. Frankly speaking many people cheat on those who they love. And surely it’s not intentional. It’s just that in the journey of life you tend to meet people who may understand you better. Change is inevitable. And with this change you’re thinking changes. Not that everyone cheats! Don’t get me wrong but some do and their intention I am sure is definitely not to hurt the existing partner. The whole point is if your existing relationship is not good enough you are the ones prone to cheat… may be your fault or your partners.

Relationships end due to misunderstandings, distance or maybe just because of loss in interest! Some people may argue that cheating is not the solution. Well the good news is staying with a person and pretending is also cheating. I can challenge very easily being in an impossible relationship is more difficult to handle rather than normal ones. It’s like your dooms date is set even before you can enjoy your journey. It is more challenging than normal relationships. Cause there’s this constant sensation and need of that person. You want be there and not be there because you know it is not right. It’s like a voyage with no destination …Love and lost with no destiny.

You know you can’t have him or her forever. Not for the century and that is a harsh reality of life not everyone can face! In the end all you have do is compromise which you would have done anyways with your existing partner. So why not have your share of happiness in these impossible relationships! They end may not be sweet but the journey is beautiful. You just learn to live with memories as you know the relation will never last forever, but memories will. Time spent together is forever and eternity.

What is important is whether a relationship is normal or unethical, love in the end is love. Unaccomplished love is like in limbo. You are vulnerable and in a land which has no horizon .But you land into this situation knowingly…..when you are self-aware so better prepared for the end.

The heart can play many tricks! Some people and some relationships give you a reason to live your entire life. Every person who comes into your life teaches you something to keep something to cherish. That is what is important… when you look back. Let the beauty of what you love be with you!

Out beyond the ideas of right doing and wrong doing there is a field, I will meet you there - Rumi.

Had read this somewhere sometime back. Not that I agree with the writer on all the points but this is another view to what is defined by the civilization.