Tujhe cheen loon ya chhod doon?
Tujhe maang loon ya mod doon?
Iss lamhe kya kar jaaun,
Iss lamhe kya kar doon jo mujhe chain mile aaram mile?
Aur ho aur ho saans ka shor ho aanch ki ore badhe…
Separation – Love and Loss
You’d wonder, what new can I write about a topic done to
death? Love eventually leads to
separation and I’m sure all of us have loved and lost your love at least once
in your existing lifetime! You disapprove? So love is this stereotypic feeling
which is supposed to lead us to ‘happily ever after’. But how many times does
this happen willingly. We love someone who we actually want to spend our entire
lives with. But after a certain how much love is really left? Isn’t it just
kind of getting used to that person. Like you have settled for something and
now you have no choice but to live with it. Honestly that is what it is. I am
in a relationship from 6 years and know better.
The other day I was watching ‘Rockstar’ and wondering why
people did not like the movie! I mean it is a simple story about the journey of
‘Jordan’, a person who screws up by loving someone he knows will never get in
life and similar was ‘Kabhie alvida na kehna’. I mean let’s get real! Is it
because we think it is morally wrong or is it just that infidelity is ethically
a shame across all ‘civilizations’? That is how our minds are trained isn’t it?
Most of these ‘extra marital’ or whatever you want to call
them, relationships are ones which never see sunrise. An impossible
relationship is one of the many special gifts that we all possess. Maybe the
other person is already in a relationship or he/she doesn’t love you or
whatever. And this applies to me too. Yes I have loved and obviously lost,
twice …or maybe more times.
So how different is it when relationship is not acceptable
or ‘unethical’ based on what society says? How far do limitations go and how
far should you go? The limits are for you to decide. Because when you love
someone there is no logic! Nothing matters not age no amount of time and no
barriers. Love ascribes value beyond reason, far beyond the intrinsic worth of
its object. We love someone not for what he or she is but for what we are with
that person. Love! It’s just this overwhelming feeling that takes control. And
this feeling goes way beyond ethics!
People feel how can someone cheat his or her, girlfriend or
boyfriend? And doesn’t guilt play an important part? Well it does, guilt goes
way deep down. But there is a simple explanation if your love is so perfect,
why this uneasiness, why this want of a shoulder of a friend a confidant and a
well-wisher. Relationships fail and so do people trying to make them work. The
truth is that if you are with a person with whom, you are not who you are then
that a thumbs down for you!
We all have relationships good ones, great ones, not so good
ones. Frankly speaking many people cheat on those who they love. And surely
it’s not intentional. It’s just that in the journey of life you tend to meet
people who may understand you better. Change is inevitable. And with this
change you’re thinking changes. Not that everyone cheats! Don’t get me wrong
but some do and their intention I am sure is definitely not to hurt the
existing partner. The whole point is if your existing relationship is not good
enough you are the ones prone to cheat… may be your fault or your partners.
Relationships end due to misunderstandings, distance or
maybe just because of loss in interest! Some people may argue that cheating is
not the solution. Well the good news is staying with a person and pretending is
also cheating. I can challenge very easily being in an impossible relationship
is more difficult to handle rather than normal ones. It’s like your dooms date
is set even before you can enjoy your journey. It is more challenging than normal
relationships. Cause there’s this constant sensation and need of that person.
You want be there and not be there because you know it is not right. It’s like
a voyage with no destination …Love and lost with no destiny.
You know you can’t have him or her forever. Not for the
century and that is a harsh reality of life not everyone can face! In the end
all you have do is compromise which you would have done anyways with your
existing partner. So why not have your share of happiness in these impossible relationships!
They end may not be sweet but the journey is beautiful. You just learn to live
with memories as you know the relation will never last forever, but memories
will. Time spent together is forever and eternity.
What is important is whether a relationship is normal or
unethical, love in the end is love. Unaccomplished love is like in limbo. You
are vulnerable and in a land which has no horizon .But you land into this
situation knowingly…..when you are self-aware so better prepared for the end.
The heart can play many tricks! Some people and some
relationships give you a reason to live your entire life. Every person who
comes into your life teaches you something to keep something to cherish. That
is what is important… when you look back. Let the beauty of what you love be
with you!
Out beyond the ideas of right doing and wrong doing there is
a field, I will meet you there - Rumi.
Had read this somewhere sometime back. Not that I agree with the writer on all the points but this is another view to what is defined by the civilization.